A Parody of The Perfect Conference from Tall Skinny Kiwi. Andrew Jones is one the most established commentators on the emerging church, and a fresh voice in the blogosphere. I was sent an email attributed to him, but can’t find the piece anywhere on his blog – so who knows where it comes from. It certainly could be his. But, whatever its source, I laughed out loud at this parody advert for a Christian leaders conference…
Our Gospel is Bigger than Yours
Location: Nashville with telecasts in Louisville, Dallas, Seattle, LA and Orlando
Speakers are 10 White Men, 5 of which wear suits and 5 of which cuss and wear Ed Hardy shirts.
Music will be led by a good natured bearded folk singer with “edgy” lyrics about sovereignty and reworkings of really old hymns of proper theological content all with never ending crescendos … and his pregnant wife.
Each sermon will be 45-50 minutes long, unless more time is desired. Topics will include:
- The Primacy of Sovereignty in Theology,
- The Primacy of the Word Primacy in Preaching, The Primacy of Men in Relationships,
- The Primacy of Church Discipline,
- The Primacy of the Pastor’s will being done as an indication of His role as God’s Appointed,
- The Primacy of the Heresy of Emerging Christianity,
- A Discussion of the Heresy of Brian McLaren by the 10 speaker in which no one is allowed to dissent from the norm,
- Why Our Bible is better than yours,
- Why the Atonement is Not a Rose, but is a Tulip and
- Why We believe in Depravity of Man and the Sovereignty of God but Are Still Right about Everything.